1198, 1198, can I get a Code 1 to 9999 99th Ave., in Queens? 20-something female, severe abd. pain and uncontrollable vomiting, suspected food poisoning. That's a Code 1. Oh, and 1198? That's going to be a one-flight carry-down.

Ahaha, oh wait, that's me. And I'm uninsured. So don't worry guys, no stairchairs today.

I did however set a new personal record today. Vomiting 10 times in less than 8 hrs. Water, you are not my friend. But at least you're not too bad to see a second time.

Also, hypothermia via dehydration is not as attractive as it sounds.

However, 2 hrs in a hot bath and 2.5 trays of ice cubes later (because I can chew on ice but not drink water? wtf?), I'm feeling a little bit human.

But unless I make a spontaneous full recovery overnight, I'm going to have to call out again. And there goes half my paycheck for the week. Oh, 90-day probationary periods and the lack of sick-pay therewithin.

(Also, please note: Private companies use Code 1 for emergencies and Code 2 for non-emergencies. So our Code 1 is like the FD's EMS Code 3. It's all about the lights and sirens, baby.)