I LOVE MY JOB.

FYI.

:D

So here's my issue. I've re-opened negotiations with the financial aid department at my chere college, and they seem disposed to hearing me out now that I have lots of paper-y things to prove that I do, in fact, support myself.

So.. packing up my life again and moving back to Massachusetts? I like this whole driving really fast with lights and sirens thing. That would involve buying a car, so I can commute to nearby urban centers for employment. Our little college town has approximately one fire station within walking distance. With one ambulance. I think they're at employment capacity. :P

I can afford a car, post-tax refund. But then there's insurance, and registration, and it might be easier to wait 'til I move back up there to buy one. Nevermind that they're probably more snow-inclined up there.

It's a half hour commute to said urban centers. Can I fit shifts into my class shedule? Could I clear Fridays and weekends for shifts? Can a private company even guarantee me a schedule like that, when they've probably got other students working for them who need the same hours? Would I be willing to pull overnights in the middle of the week? Would I be sane enough to drive home afterwards? In a blizzard?

Are they even hiring?

Because I have to support myself at school. I have bills to pay that won't simply disappear. And a car involves car insurance. And gas. And other fun things.

I qualify for health insurance in nine weeks with my current company. Do I want to trade that and start all over again? Will my school make me buy insurance? And dental?

What about CME credits, to maintain my license? My current company offers them regularly. I need 28 by the end of the year. Will those even transfer back to MA? Or will I have to do everything in NY and then have MA reciprocate my renewed license? Or can I use the same credits to renew both licenses? And if I'm not working in EMS up in MA, how will I finish my CME credits?

Do I want it this bad?

I could transfer to a school in NYC. But anything with an education equivalent to my chere college would look at my transcript and laugh. I'd have to submit my resume to even get their consideration, and then I'd have to have the insane negotiations with their financial aid department. At least my chere college understands that situation.

I missed a year in my friends' lives. They're graduating a year ahead of me now. I can make more friends, but DUDE I'm going to have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to graduation and all. For reals, I'm gonna be pissed.

Seriously, I'm going to be twenty-three when I graduate. Chere college, you messed up my five year plan. For reals.

But this is coming from the girl who contemplated selling organs to get back to school.

I guess I'm up-ending my life again?

Oh, but I am going to have no patience for people whining about school. Like punch in the face no patience. Like you're getting a free ride from your parents so shut it or drop out status.

I LOVE EMS. Will on-campus volunteer stuff be enough to satisfy that addiction? Could I deal with a desk job for bill paying? I'll be chasing CME credits all over the state. I still need a car.

If you lasted this long in the post...welcome to my thought process? ;P