Sometimes I come home convinced I smell like Foley catheters.

Apologies to anyone I may have been grumpy with while commuting. I worked overtime. It doesn't improve my interest in your well-being in any way, shape or form. Nor does a day of lifting patients four or more times my body weight improve my interest in standing for my entire commute.

Also, you know what keeps you on your toes? And/or may result in cardiac arrest? Not knowing that you were transporting a patient with their paramedic family member aboard until AFTER you've turned in your report. And you have a sudden moment of FUCK. Now I know why they were grilling my partner so much. God help me, I've had so many patients today I can't remember every detail of what I did and what I wrote. I seriously doubt my sleep deprivation impressed them all that much.

Also, don't take the paperwork another crew has started. You'll turn in the most convoluted unreadable PCR ever.

If I could not have upper GI bleeds as my first call of the day, I'd appreciate it.

Also, GI bleeds who start having chest pains as we enter the ER.

And proceed to have an SPO2 of 67%.

I don't want to leave the ER with the nurse already proclaiming today a bad day and a cardiac team rushing to the room we left just a few minutes before.

Don't wait until they're so sick that they might not survive the trip. Call us when the bleed starts, right after their evening dose of blood thinners. Do not call us a day later and then deny that they're taking blood thinners. Please.

Cannotcannotcannot get the smell of upper GI bleed to go away. Even though it was 15hrs ago. Even after six handwashings and way too many hand sanitizing sessions and four alcohol scrubdowns of my stethoscope/BP cuff/penlight/pen/ENTIRE AMBULANCE/etc. and a scalding hot shower.

Sir, you scared the living daylights out of me. At the pre-breakfast just stumbled into my truck part of my day. As my partner put it, the whitest girl ever turned three shades whiter. Actually, you're still scaring the living daylights out of me. Not having the follow-up may be the worst part of this job. Small towns have crews that can wander into the local ER and ask about every patient they've transported. New York City has more than 70 hospitals. Chances of us visiting the same hospital twice in one shift = 0 to none, unless it's one of the big ones.

Maybe another shower will fix things. Because that's really the only thing I can fix. Because sir, I can clean up the mess and do my best keep your airway clear and drive as goddamn fast as physically possible, but I can't fix the problem. I can't stop the bleeding, but I can get you to good hands. And if you remember, please give your companion my infinite gratitude for calling us as soon as they realized they couldn't stop the nose bleed.

That call scared me shitless, but it could've been so much worse if they'd waited.

And I may take emergency nose bleed calls totally goddamn effing serious for the rest of my career.

Birdie = 1, Stair Chair = 1

It's all in the technique, baby. Cause little women have to do their own style. Thank goodness there was a for serious tiny ass kicking no-nonsense veteran passing by to re-teach us how to do things. Much, much appreciation.

Also, study of Western Massachusetts vs. New York City? I can do a traction splint with my eyes closed, even if it's missing half of its straps. But there's never more than a flight or two of stairs to contend with.

Now, Birdie vs. Oversized Uniform. Cause they don't roll with a 28/28 in men's pants or a 13/28 in shirts. How do I make a 15/32 shirt into a 13/28? Brute force. Duh.

<3

Birdie = 0, Stair Chair = 1

I forgot how goddamn heavy someone more than twice my weight is. Yesterday was FUN.

Treatment:
1. Apply bengay like there's no such thing as too much menthol.
2. Eat everything in the house. No lie.
3. Take over the shower (and hot water) like you don't have roomies (or neighbors).
4. Kick the living daylights out of yourself at the gym the next day. In a blizzard.
5. IBUPROFEN.

Because no way in hell am I letting my scrawny underfed self get between me and a job I love.

SAINTS = WIN!!!!! Just because I played varsity soccer in high school doesn't mean I can't appreciate football. Similar overall goal. Just you're allowed to hit people more. :D

I was definitely not out partying, though. :( I came home from work AND FINISHED MY ONLINE FEMA TRAINING. :) Finally. Sheesh. That deserves a celebration in itself.

I'm not sure how other states work in terms of this training. I originally got my EMT-B license in Massachusetts, and New York State reciprocated it when I moved back here to work as an EMT on-site for the theater. My new employer sent me a letter along with my job offer stating that I had to complete FEMA training according to NYS DOH requirements for all EMT's and Paramedics, so I'm assuming it's a standardized statewide thing.

It makes total sense, particularly working in NYC. Our potential for big incidents and need for multi-agency cooperation is way more than other regions.

Conclusion? The National Incident Management System and Incident Command Systems are TOTALLY AWESOME. I just learn better hands-on, through observation. So I've got the jist of it down, but I'd like to see it in action. Totally working into my eventual goals of international disaster relief management.

Yes, yes I am a dork. You know what else is really cool? Drip irrigation systems in rural farming. Especially when you add fertilizer. And then you get...FERTIGATION.