Dear partner(s),

Yes, I will be incoherent for the first half hour of the shift. I don't care what time we're starting. I just rolled out of bed. Wait 'til I finish my donut and OJ.

Yes, we will be doing 5-6 jobs a day. You will be working for your paycheck.

Yes, I will sing along to every song I know on the radio. And maybe even the ones I don't. You had better like everything from Jay-Z and Ke$ha to Bruce Springsteen and Queen.

Yes, you had better be singing along, too.

Yes, I will buy a 1 lbs bag of ice the instant the temp or humidity goes up. And I will eat it, too.

Yes, you will automatically gain weight from being in my presence. Please see above regarding pints of ice cream. And boxes of 1 dozen donuts from Dunkin' Donuts. And entire Entemann's chocolate cakes.

Yes, I can lift. Yes, I will be taking bottom on both stair chair and stretcher.

Yes, I like to tech. I like hanging out with patients in the back.

Yes, we will be stopping at totally random delis. I'm involved in an epic search for the perfect roast beef and provolone hot on a hero.

Yes, I do love OT.

And most importantly:

Me + psych patients = happiness. Keep your mouth shut. I can sweet talk them into anything.

(No, seriously, I love psych calls. LOVE.)